I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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