are you still at the devil's house?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
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We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
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Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize