Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
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No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
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Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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