Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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