Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize