I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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