I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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