she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize