I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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