The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize