Texts From Last Night

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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'

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  (704): ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked' http://tfl.nu/xvcv
  Replies (39) Good night (611) Bad night (6665) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop

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  (412): dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop http://tfl.nu/q8xc
  Replies (18) Good night (6545) Bad night (559) Order T-Shirt
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.

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  (662): Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing. http://tfl.nu/08ze
  Replies (10) Good night (692) Bad night (3409) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.

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  (304): yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at. http://tfl.nu/ro5c
  Replies (11) Good night (5838) Bad night (1032) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"

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  (214): Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid" http://tfl.nu/i4ng
  Replies (12) Good night (5230) Bad night (869)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.

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  (610): I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral. http://tfl.nu/xbiu
  Replies (14) Good night (5728) Bad night (988) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you

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  (518): i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you http://tfl.nu/aqjq
  Replies (8) Good night (2812) Bad night (1172) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.

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  (203): some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed. http://tfl.nu/br4z
  Replies (7) Good night (2452) Bad night (754) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?

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  (716): Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle? http://tfl.nu/rwr7
  Replies (17) Good night (1218) Bad night (3107) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.

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  (970): I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message. http://tfl.nu/3foq
  Replies (6) Good night (1874) Bad night (468) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.

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  (630): I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up. http://tfl.nu/oo6k
  Replies (4) Good night (507) Bad night (1363) Order T-Shirt
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.

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  (601): Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question. http://tfl.nu/eb7h
  Replies (5) Good night (1924) Bad night (372)
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  (631): View more from New York

  He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.

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  (631): He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment. http://tfl.nu/k4e4
  Replies (4) Good night (374) Bad night (658) Order T-Shirt
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.

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  (580): The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive. http://tfl.nu/8405
  Replies (7) Good night (926) Bad night (377) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.

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  (443): Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again. http://tfl.nu/8fgb
  Replies (0) Good night (657) Bad night (255) Order T-Shirt

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