I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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