Texts From Last Night

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  (281): View more from Texas

  i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets

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  (281): i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets http://tfl.nu/eja8
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.

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  (316): No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here. http://tfl.nu/05bz
  Replies (71) Good night (758) Bad night (6079) Order T-Shirt
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  (626): View more from California

  Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.

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  (626): Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting. http://tfl.nu/7nt8
  Replies (30) Good night (661) Bad night (4359)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Hi, my name's audrey!

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Max?

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.

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  (740): Hi, my name's audrey! (614): Max? (740): Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk. http://tfl.nu/di7n
  Replies (31) Good night (5962) Bad night (783)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.

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  (847): Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport? (1-847): It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok. http://tfl.nu/wou3
  Replies (30) Good night (4672) Bad night (968) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.

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  (818): I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal. http://tfl.nu/asxv
  Replies (23) Good night (4025) Bad night (880) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...

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  (412): I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student... http://tfl.nu/ab9h
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX

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  (517): My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX http://tfl.nu/rv1c
  Replies (23) Good night (973) Bad night (6076) Order T-Shirt
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  (805): View more from California

  You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.

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  (805): You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed. http://tfl.nu/chu6
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.

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  (580): You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose. http://tfl.nu/41p8
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!

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  (708): Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player! http://tfl.nu/3jxt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...

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  (775): Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right... http://tfl.nu/dr5k
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something

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  (203): wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something http://tfl.nu/kee0
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  (818): View more from California

  I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u

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  (818): I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u http://tfl.nu/ckyh
  Replies (4) Good night (604) Bad night (177) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!

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  (803): I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score! http://tfl.nu/zwep
  Replies (2) Good night (246) Bad night (405) Order T-Shirt

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