She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize