Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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