just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize