do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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