My room smells like vodka and shame
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
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Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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