Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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