I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
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just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
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I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
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