Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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