I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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