i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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