dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize