Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize