i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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