Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
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I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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