Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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