Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
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