If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize