Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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