1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
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splinters make it hard to masturbate
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
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Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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