I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
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