If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
We're too hungover to prance.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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