oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I intend to get homeless drunk
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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