In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
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My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
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His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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