you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize