just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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