his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
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I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
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The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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