Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize