i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
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Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
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You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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