Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Operation Purity has been aborted
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize