Im at strip club and am horny
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
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