The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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