Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
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Come see our sink grown plant.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
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