she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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