I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize