I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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