Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize