My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He shit in the fireplace
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